What is confidence?
Well, literally ‘confidence’ means ‘with faith’, taking action with faith in yourself. The conventional wisdom around confidence is very likely to be focused on knowing your own value, knowing what you have to offer and owning that with assertive body language and the like.
If this were all it took to find true confidence, then we’d all be able to do it after a bit of belief work and a few affirmations. In my experience, this simply isn’t the case. Especially for women.
But my research has over and over flagged up something else. Something far more sinister, far more poisonous and far more negative. Something that lurks beneath the surface like a beast in the shadows. I can sum it up in one simple word……
When women put themselves ‘out there’, whether it’s expanding our business, stepping onto a stage, or allowing any of our gifts to blossom in public, more often than not we are doing something which used to be forbidden to women. Although those days are thankfully gone, deep in our subconscious minds there are still many programmes whispering to us, undermining us, and creating hidden fear.
We are using a mental operating system from the past. It just doesn’t fit our reality, but we haven’t upgraded our software.
If these obsolete programmes were in front of us, we could see that they were not valid. Unfortunately because they sit there, lurking under the surface, we only feel the subconscious reaction, without knowing where it came from.
The result? A deep-seated, fear-based poison which undermines us. I call this “female history syndrome”.
So what can we do about this?
Well the first and most important thing is to understand where it has come from.
When you next feel that blocking sensation, instead of holding back, or beating yourself up because you shouldn’t feel this way, remind yourself of the truth: it is history pulling you back, the old operating system of the past.
The fear your subconscious mind is creating is an illusion. It feels awful, but it isn’t based on fact. As soon as you know this, it begins to lose its power over you.
When you understand this, an allow that truth to really sink in, you are taking back the control from that subconscious beast. This is the first step towards creating new reactions. Owning your rights on the deepest level and in doing so, claiming the freedom to feel safe shining confidently.