From Cambridge Scientist to Power Alchemist
When I left Cambridge in 1996, and started what should have been my dream job of Lecturer in Mechanics of Materials, I was confident, competent, motivated and determined to prove that I could succeed in that male world of engineering. Indeed with a first class degree, a PhD, a Postdoc and multiple prizes under my belt, I had everything pointing to a high-flying academic career.
Alas, my experience in that environment was not what I had hoped for.
As many professional women have experienced, I came up against the boys’ club – I found myself being dismissed, talked over, not given the respect or credibility my male peers received automatically. What is more, despite my qualifications, and the fact I was performing well in my job (bringing in funding, publishing research and receiving great feedback from my students,) I found that over time my confidence evaporated, my stress went off the scale. To cut a long story short, after 6 years of my lectureship I lost my scientific career to burnout and chronic fatigue syndrome.
I was left with one big question…why had I reacted in this way in a career for which I was so eminently qualified and capable?
The quest to find the answer and to get my life back, took me deep into the realm of the subconscious, the group consciousness, and the subtle interactions that go on beneath the surface of our world. I opened my mind to subtle energies and subconscious healing modalities that had been completely out of my experience before.
I studied with the best, rapidly becoming teacher in several systems, and when these techniques did not do what I wanted, I began to develop my own unique transformation system – Female Power Alchemy.
By this time, I had a thriving women’s empowerment and healing practice, and working with so many other high-achieving women, a pattern began to form. Over and over, brilliant women came to me with the same patterns of stress, imposter syndrome, and exhaustion, combined with specific experiences in their work environment.
This of course is super-exciting for someone with a scientific brain like me. When there is a pattern, there is a common root, and where there is a root, there is a solution.
Eventually, all the pieces of the jigsaw fell into place. What I discovered was truly astonishing. Essentially there was a hidden operating system which was still anchored deep in the programmes of the patriarchal past. Quite simply, all women are being pulled back to old obsolete standards that have no relevance to our 21st century lives. And, what is more – the further we pull away from those old limits, the more this hidden operating system gets triggered and tries to pull us back. This is what is responsible for our feeling not good enough when we’re actually brilliant. This is why we feel like imposters (we are imposters – we are women in a world designed to male benchmarks). This is why someone looks at a man and woman, and automatically assigns the authority to him. (If I had £1 for every time this had happened to me in my career, I’d have retired to the Bahamas by now!)
Pull Back Your Power
It became crystal clear to me why more conventional women’s empowerment had fallen short, and why equal opportunities law still hadn’t addressed the gender disparity at the top.
Firstly, nobody had understood just how powerful, and just how out of date, that subconscious operating system really was. Ultimately, the pattern held by the subconscious is what everything tends to. Trying to change the surface without changing the hidden operating system was never going to work.
This put women at a huge disadvantage in practically every situation, and sent our subconscious minds into a ‘fight or flight’ without us realising it, each time we break those hidden rules. Quite simply, this meant that we truly did not have our power, even in situations where we believed ourselves empowered!
Secondly, I realised that until we could free ourselves from this subconscious reaction, we would forever be playing catchup. It was this reaction that causes women to ‘not be able to speak up’ and the well-documented confidence gap.
All of this is caused by what I call the ‘women’s lack of power foundation’ which creates that authority gap, that unconscious bias, and all that ‘mansplaining’ and dismissive behaviour.
The final piece in the jigsaw was when I developed my ‘PULL BACK YOUR POWER’ technique. This is a way of actually bringing your subconscious mind back into its power, bringing in that deep safety and confidence, at will. When you learn how to do this, you actually find yourself reacting differently to the world, even when people are dismissive or aggressive. Not only that, but when you are holding your power energetically (as opposed to simply believing in your empowerment) people start to react to you differently too.
But that isn’t the end of the story! As soon as my book was published, women began to contact me from all over the world asking me to teach them exactly how to build their power foundation, and so I created the original Female Power Voice, and now Supreme Feminine Confidence to give women the chance to experience big results.
The greatest challenge
Half-way through this story of discovery and female power, tragedy struck my family in 2014. My beloved daughter, Rebecca, passed away very suddenly in her sleep at the age of 7. There are no words to describe this experience and her loss. She had been the very epitome of feminine power. She had been fearless – terrifyingly so from a mother’s perspective! She had been fun and joyful and loving, and her death left an unbearable hole in our lives.
However, it was through my own journey through this trauma that I came to discover the key power techniques that I’m now sharing with the world. Belief work, trauma clearing and any number of other techniques had not helped me. But pulling the power back, and re-creating the power foundation of my life, with her gone, was what took me to the next level, and has enabled me to create something beautiful.
In many ways, Rebecca is in all my work. It is her freedom and power that I want all young women to have, so we can all succeed and thrive in whatever career we choose – no longer held back by the legacy of our disempowered past. Free to express our true female magic and power, even in the most conventional environment.
Free to take our female magic, unashamedly, into the world.
25 years on
It’s now a quarter of a century since I walked through the doors of that engineering department into my lectureship. I hardly recognise that woman as me. Little did I know back then that my future lay, not with fracture mechanics and scanning electron microscopes, but with showing women how to get their power back from the experiences, conditioning and heritage that still holds us back.
I can honestly say, after having worked with hundreds of women and seen their lives transform, that this path is infinitely more important! Although the journey has been hard, it has been worth it to have made these discoveries and to now help change the world for women today and tomorrow.
Let me leave you with this thought.
Everything you have achieved in the world so far has been with your subconscious mind, and that hidden operating system trying to drag you back. Yet you have still succeeded!
Whether you’re a young women just starting out, or an eminent woman on The Board…
Just imagine, how much more fulfilment, success and impact you could have if you knew how to free yourself from that battle?
How phenomenal would you be then?
If this speaks to you, and you’d like to work with me, please reach out.
hello ‘at’ feminineconfidence.com